


ObiMaul Snippets: A Grab-Bag of Shorts

by Quo_Usque



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: (see chapter 2), Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crack, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Rated teen for swearing, Snippets, crack and feelings, criminal overuse of pet names, i love these two, kix (briefly), maul is my tragic garbage child and i would literally die for him, off-screen injury as a setup for fluff, tags will update as i add snippets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-24 07:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14350335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quo_Usque/pseuds/Quo_Usque
Summary: Miscellaneous ObiMaul snippets. Because I have ideas but I refuse to have more than two WIPs at a time. Each chapter will be a different short little one-shot, and I'll add them as inspiration strikes. Most will take place in various canon-divergent AUs, because canon was not nice to these two. Expect fluff, feeeeeeelings, maybe some humor, we'll see what this grab-bag evolves into.





	1. Go the Fuck to Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a tough battle, Obi-Wan needs rest but refuses to quit. Maul has no time for his shit, and refuses to let Obi-Wan be an idiot. Because he cares about him and hasn't quite realized it yet. Pre-relationship. Featuring Obi-Wan McDumbass, Maul's feeeeeeelings, and Anakin in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one takes place in a universe where, for whatever reason, Maul is working with the Jedi in the Clone Wars. Probably because he realized that both he and Obi-Wan want to see his old master dead, and has realized the Value of Teamwork.

After the battle, Maul found Kenobi on the bridge, looking like he was running on fumes and momentum alone. The General was swaying on his feet, covered in dirt and other people’s blood. His armor was cracked, he was missing his lightsaber (Maul would have to remember to ask Cody later), and his eyes kept glazing over as Anakin debriefed about how his squad had fared over the past week on that complete disaster of a planet. Kenobi looked the kind of exhausted that Maul called “only standing because he’s too tired to fall down”. 

Maul strode into the middle of Kenobi and Skywalker’s debriefing, completely ignoring Skywalker and positioning himself right in front of Kenobi, folding his arms and looking up at him. Maul could practically see Kenobi’s mind lagging as he blinked, taking a few seconds to process the fact that someone was now standing between him and his former padawan.

“...yes?” he said.

“You,” Maul said, fixing the general with a look he had seen Senator Amidala use on Skywalker, “need to go to bed. Now.”

“Hey,” Skywalker protested from behind him, without much force.

“No, I’m fine, Maul.” Kenobi said, blatantly lying. He swayed, and Maul shot out a hand to grab his shoulder and prevent him from stumbling.

“No, you’re not. Bed.”

“I’m fine, I’m just a little tired from the battle.” Kenobi attempted a self-deprecating smile.

“Bullshit.” Maul said. “I’ve seen you. You haven’t slept in four days.”

“You don’t know that.” Kenobi said mulishly. “You weren’t at the city, you were with the squad taking the pass.”

“I do know; Cody told me. And you only ever start arguing like this when you get past the three-day mark.”

Kenobi frowned and muttered something that sounded like “betrayed by my own officer”. He looked down at Maul. It took him a visible effort to focus his eyes on him.

“I can last a little longer. I have to finish some things first.” 

Maul scoffed. He had heard that line out of Kenobi far too often to buy it; Kenobi always had just a few things to finish before he would rest. 

“Whatever you need to do, you can do it later. Battle’s over, you can go the fuck to sleep now, Kenobi.”

Kenobi attempted to draw himself up, putting on a facsimile of the General who Takes No Shit, but only managing General who got Run Over by a Train. 

“I can’t rest while my men are still handling the aftermath. We have to secure our position and set up a pursuit of their retreating forces, there’s wounded to see to, I have to contact the Council, and Anakin and I need to discuss our strategy and the next steps we need to take, I have to do... you know, stuff.”

“No, you don’t.” Maul said bluntly. “Rex and Cody are already coordinating the pursuit, like you told them- 

“And I have to be here to make sure it goes alright. They might need backup, or they might have a question, or run into a problem-”

“Which they can damn well solve on their own. They’re competent officers, you don’t have to micromanage them. They know how to do their jobs.” Maul felt Skywalker’s indignant glare on the back of his neck at Maul’s insult to his former Master, but Maul didn’t care. Kenobi needed to learn not to nitpick every single thing his officers did, just because he was worried and tired.

“I know they do.” Kenobi said. “I didn’t mean to imply.... besides, there’s still injured soldiers, I need to-”

“What? Carry them off the battlefield yourself? Treat their injuries? You’re not a medic, Kenobi, we specifically have medics who have that job, and they’re doing that job right now, and they’re doing just fine without your help. They don’t need you. Go to bed.”

“I can’t, I’m the general, I have to be here, they expect me to be here-”

“You have to go the fuck to sleep is what you have to do. You can’t lead if you’re falling asleep standing. And you’re not the only general here,” he said, gesturing pointedly over his shoulder to Skywalker. “If anyone needs a general’s authority for some reason, they can go to him.”

“But Anakin must be tired to,” Kenobi said. “I can’t rest and make him do all the work, it wouldn’t be fair-”

“I’m fine, Master.” Skywalker interrupted, looking right over Maul’s head to talk to the general. “I actually slept last night. Maul’s right, I can handle everything. You go sleep.” Maul was glad to have Skywalker’s support. The man didn’t like or trust Maul, and made no secret of it. The only thing that kept them from each other’s throats was their mutual respect for Kenobi. 

“But the Council....” Kenobi protested.

“I will make our report to them, Master.” Skywalker said. 

“But we might face another attack, they might have reinforcements. I can’t leave the bridge with only one Force-user to detect-” Maul cut him off.

“Stop pulling excuses out of your ass. I will sit on this bridge and listen to the Force and make sure we don’t get ambushed if that’ll make you happy. This is not a debate. Go. The fuck. To bed.”

“But you hate listening to the Force.” Kenobi said, a whine seeping into his tone. Maul knew he had won.

“Yes, but I hate it a lot less than I hate you being an idiot about your own health. Come on.” He grabbed Kenobi’s arm and started to walk him off the Bridge.

“Go on, Master, Maul and I will take care of things.” Skywalker said. Kenobi stumbled, trying to resist Maul’s tug on his arm.

“But I have paperwork...” he said, the final, pathetic flail of a defeated man.

“I will finish your damn paperwork. Bed. Now.” Maul hauled Kenobi into the lift.

By the time he got Kenobi to his quarters, the exhausted Jedi was leaning on his shoulder, head dropping, practically asleep walking. Maul stopped in front of his door, and waited for Kenobi to fumble through unlocking it. The door hissed open.

“Thank you, Maul, I’ll be fine from here.” Kenobi said. Maul scoffed and hauled him through. There were many things he trusted Obi-Wan Kenobi with, and not immediately finding some excuse to keep working the moment Maul left him alone was not one of them. He wasn’t leaving Kenobi alone until he was in bed and unconscious. Wordlessly, he shut the door behind them and pushed Kenobi towards the bed.

“At least let me take a shower first.” Kenobi said. Maul rolled his eyes. 

“Fine.” He would have been happy to shove Kenobi into bed and let him clean up in the morning, but he knew that Kenobi had different standards for personal hygiene than he had grown up with. Maul knew from experience that Kenobi slept better when he wasn’t covered in blood and dirt. Strange man.

“...well?” Maul said, after half a minute of Kenobi standing and staring off into space.

“Oh. Yes.” Kenobi said, and began divesting himself of his robes, moving at an agonizingly slow pace. Maul sighed and stepped up to Kenobi, taking his robe and efficiently stripping him of belt, tunic, shirt, and boots. He left Kenobi’s trousers, remembering to respect the Jedi’s odd sense of propriety. He could probably handle taking off his pants on his own. Maul took Kenobi by the shoulders and steered him into the ‘fresher.

“Don’t take too long. I expect to hear running water in a minute.” Maul told him, shutting the door. Maul sat down on the chair at Kenobi’s desk. He let out a sigh and leaned back. His muscles were aching, and he’d probably have to see a medic about the sharp pain in his ribs from a scuffle with an assassin droid. His right knee was sticking and grinding in a worrying way. The casing was dented, and he was pretty sure the joint yoke was bent. He’d have to disassemble and fix it later.

From behind the closed door, Maul heard the hiss of water. He picked up Kenobi’s datapad from the desk, glancing through his inbox. Kenobi really needed a dedicated assistant for all the bullshit paperwork he had. The fucking Republic didn’t know shit about running an army, but they sure as hell knew how to do bureaucracy. The mere idea of paperwork made him shudder, and the massive column marked “urgent” made him want to bang his head on the wall, but he’d promised Kenobi he’d take care of it. If Kenobi woke up to a massive pile of nonsense it would only stress him out more and make him even less willing to take a break in the future. In his pocket, his comm puzzed. He pulled it out. A message from Skywalker. Frowning, he pulled it up.

 _Thanks._ It read. _I tried, but he hates admitting when I’m right. He always listens to you. I’ll make sure the officers know not to disturb him. And I will need your help on the bridge, once you’re done with that paperwork._

Maul himself wanted nothing more than to go to bed himself. The week-long battle hadn’t been easy on any of them, but Kenobi was positively dead on his feet, and wouldn’t rest until he collapsed. Maul, at least, was getting better at recognizing when his body was telling him to stop, and actually taking care of it when he needed to. Most of the time, anyway.

The shower had been running for almost ten minutes. Kenobi was usually in and out in four. Maul sighed mentally, put the datapad down, and walked over to the ‘fresher door, rapping on it with his knuckles.

“Hey. Kenobi. I said don’t take too long.” He listened. Kenobi made some sort of inarticulate noise that may or may not have been an attempt at a word. Maul opened the door and stepped inside. At least Kenobi had made it into the shower on his own. Maul pulled back the curtain, uncaring of Kenobi’s privacy. Kenobi was standing under the water, rivulets running down his bruised torso. 

“Do you need some help?” Maul asked sarcastically. Kenobi noticed that Maul was there and blinked. 

“Oh. Sorry, I was just...” 

“Staring blankly at a wall. Yeah.” Maul said. Kenobi seemed too tired to even care about being naked in front of him. Maul stripped off his outer robe and shirt, down to his tank top, and bent down to picked up the soap.

“Here.” he said, handing it to Kenobi. “Wash.” Kenobi complied, streams of dirt running off his skin as he cleaned. When Maul judged that he was clean enough, he reached out and took the soap back, trading it for shampoo. Kenobi stared at the bottle for a second, as if trying to figure out what it was for. “Hair.” Maul said. Kenobi nodded, managing to get shampoo on his head and half-heartedly lathering with one hand. Maul took the bottle back from him and set it down.

“Hold still.” he said. He reached over and rubbed his hands over Kenobi’s head, lathering up the shampoo. The quicker he could get Kenobi out of the shower and into a bed, the better. 

“Shut your eyes.” He reminded him, as he guided Kenobi’s head under the shower stream to rinse. Kenobi accepted the manhandling without protest, seemingly content to let Maul take over where his own brain was too tired. With Kenobi clean, Maul shut off the shower. He grabbed a towel and threw it over Kenobi’s head, rubbing vigorously to dry his hair, then wrapped it around Kenobi and steered him out of the shower. Maul tried to recall Kenobi’s bedtime routine. Did he need anything else...? Ah, teeth. Kenobi brushed his teeth. And nagged Maul to do it, too. Maul had picked up the habit purely to get him to shut up. It hadn’t been necessary when he was an apprentice, since he hadn’t gotten to eat that often. Zabraks could grow back their teeth, anyway. He found Kenobi’s toothbrush, put toothpaste on it, and handed it to Kenobi, who had sat down heavily on the toilet. Kenobi took the brush and brushed his teeth. When he was done, Maul handed him a cup of water, then took him by the shoulders and tugged him to his feet. He wrapped an arm around Kenobi’s waist and guided him out of the ‘fresher. He sat the Jedi on the edge of the bed, and dug around in the wardrobe until he found his sleep pants. He handed them to Kenobi, who seemed at least awake enough to stand and put them on. Maul took the towel from him and threw it into the ‘fresher, letting it land on the floor.

“Thank you, Maul.” Kenobi said. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to manage me like I’m a child.”

Maul grunted, staring over Kenobi’s shoulder. Maul hated it when someone apologized to him. 

“It’s fine.” he told Kenobi. “You’re tired and out of it. It’s no problem. I get it.” He did. There were times when he was incapable of managing himself, and he would stare at a wall for an hour trying to get himself to stand up. It wasn’t directly correlated with tiredness, but being tired always made it worse. More than once, Kenobi had had to stand beside him and direct him through simple tasks that any child could have done alone. 

Kenobi stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Maul. Maul froze, unsure of what to do. His hearts were racing, and he cursed the adrenaline that shot through him, rooting him to the spot. It was only a hug. He could handle a hug. 

“You’re a good friend.” Kenobi said. “I’m glad I have you, Maul.” Something in Maul’s chest tightened. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around Kenobi and returned the hug. He swallowed around a lump in his throat. Friend. He was... Kenobi considered him a friend. This was second time Kenobi had hugged him- the second time anyone had hugged him- and now Kenobi said ‘friend’. Maul felt something fragile and small between them, something he had been ignoring. It scared him. Even after he and Kenobi had stopped trying to kill each other, after Kenobi had forcibly saved him and dragged him, kicking and screaming, out of the shadows of his past, Maul hadn’t let himself think of Kenobi as... as someone who cared about him. Someone to care for. Someone he could trust, not only with his life, but with his heart. That thing between them, it had slipped in while Maul wasn’t looking, had grown while he was ignoring it and keeping Kenobi at arm’s length. Maybe he shouldn’t ignore it anymore. Maybe, one day, ‘friend’ wouldn’t be such a terrifying concept. He tightened his arms around Kenobi, just briefly. 

“I’m glad I have you, too.” he muttered, pushing the words out. Kenobi hmmed in reply. His head was resting on Maul’s shoulder, and he was leaning on him, apparently willing to fall asleep right there. Maul was struck by how easy it would be to kill Kenobi right now. He was tired, physically and mentally, he was unarmed and unprotected. And Kenobi, vulnerable as he was, had willingly embraced Maul, compromising himself even further. And he had done it without a thought, just because he wanted Maul to know that he was thankful. Maul’s heart clenched. He tightened his hold on Kenobi and turned his head to press his nose into the back of Kenobi’s neck, wanting to keep him there just a little bit more. Kenobi’s damp hair pressed against his cheek. The overwhelming amount of trust that Kenobi had for him, and how offhandedly he showed it, like it was no effort at all, like it was second nature for him, made Maul’s heart ache in ways he couldn’t explain. Made him want to show Kenobi that he was worthy of that trust, made him want to give Kenobi something just as important. But what Kenobi needed right now was rest. And that, Maul could do. He inhaled deeply, then gently pushed Kenobi off of him, holding onto his shoulders and sitting him down on the bed. Kenobi didn’t need to be told to lie down this time. He fumbled for the blankets, which Maul took and placed over him. Kenobi sighed as his head sank into his pillow. 

“Are you sure you’ll be alright if I sleep?” he asked Maul.

“Yes.” Maul said softly. “I’ll take care of things, don’t worry.” He grabbed Kenobi’s chair and datapad, and placed the chair right next to the bed.

“I’ll get started on your paperwork while you fall asleep.” he said. He turned off the light and sat down, the datapad’s faint glow was more than enough to work by.

“Promise me you’ll comm if anyone needs me for anything.” Kenobi said. His eyes were already closed. 

“I promise.” Maul said. He quietly reached for Kenobi’s discarded robes and pulled the comm out of the pocket and set it to silent. People could comm all they wanted. Kenobi rolled to his side and exhaled. Maul could practically see the tension leaving his muscles. Kenobi rested one hand against Maul’s thigh.

“You should get some rest, too.” Kenobi said, his words trailing off. 

“I will.” Maul said. After he took care of Kenobi’s paperwork and helped Skywalker handle the aftermath for the next 18 hours, which was how long he planned to program Kenobi’s security system to ping him if Kenobi left the bed.

“Good.” Kenobi said. “You should take care of yourself the way you take care of me.” Kenobi’s words once again found their way straight to Maul’s heart. He reached out a hand, hesitant, then made himself place it on Kenobi’s head, gently stroking his fingers through his damp hair. He hoped it expressed what he was feeling. Whatever that was. His eyes were stinging a bit, and he didn’t think he could say anything without choking on his words. He swallowed, took a deep breath, and swallowed again. Now was not the time to cry. 

“Good night, Obi-Wan.” he said. Obi-Wan didn’t reply, he was already asleep. Maul wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and turned on the datapad. There was a warm feeling in his chest, and it made the prospect of the massive “urgent” column seem not as bad. One hand still carding through Kenobi’s hair, Maul tapped the first item and got to work.


	2. Jackpot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maul wakes up from surgery, and the anesthetic has him high out of his damn mind. He finds out that the hot ginger sitting next to his bed is somehow his husband, and can't quite believe his luck.
> 
> Anakin tries not to crack up too loudly. 
> 
> Featuring Maul, Very OOC but for logical reasons, Obi-Wan's Feeeeeelings, and Anakin in the background (again).  
> 40% fluff, 30% crack, and 30% authorial sleep deprivation.
> 
> Loosely based on this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiviQfLyQX4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals? What finals? I certainly don't have any essays I should be writing, do I? Anyway, here's another chapter.
> 
> This one takes place in a universe where Maul allies with Obi-Wan and the GAR to fight against Palpatine, because fuck that guy. You can probably view it as the same universe as chapter 1, actually. This story would take place much later, since Obi-Wan and Maul are married now. 
> 
> Warnings: drugs, I guess. Maul is high off his ass for most of this chapter. Non-consensual filming of Maul being high off his ass, as well. 
> 
> Further warning for excessive use of pet names.

“Master, quit freaking out.”

“I am not freaking out, Anakin. I’m just worried.”

“I can feel it in the Force, Master. You’re freaking out. You need to chill.”

“I don’t need to do anything of the sort, Anakin. I’m perfectly fine.” Obi-Wan said. He was hunched over in a chair next to Maul’s bed in the mostly empty auxiliary med bay, holding the hand of his unconscious husband and stroking the back of it with his thumb. His other hand clenched and unclenched repeatedly on his lap, and his brow was furrowed with worry lines so deep it looked as if they might become permanent. He had the distinct look of a man who was, indeed, quietly freaking out. 

“Master, relax. He’s fine. Kix said the surgery went well and he’ll be awake soon.” Anakin said, putting on his best idea of a soothing expression. Obi-Wan was not soothed. 

“That’s right, sir,” said Kix, as the doors to the small med bay shut behind him. Anakin stepped aside as the medic walked briskly to Maul’s bedside, reaching around Obi-Wan to place some items on the bedside table. “He’ll be up soon, and back to normal before you know it.” Obi-Wan nodded stiffly. Kix clapped him on the shoulder.  
“Comm me when he wakes. I’ve got a little.... issue... to deal with elsewhere, sir, so I probably won’t be able to come right away. Make sure he drinks this-” Kix gestured to a sealed cup with a straw that he’d placed on the table- “when he wakes up; get some fluids into him.” Obi-Wan nodded again, and looked up at Kix. He gave the medic a small smile. 

“Thank you, Kix.” he said. 

“Just doing my job, sir.” Kix said. He turned to leave. “Oh, fair warning, General.” he said over his shoulder. “The anesthetic will still be wearing off when he wakes up, so he might be a little... loopy for a while.” Obi-Wan gave a monosyllabic grunt, which may or may not have indicated that he actually heard what Kix had said. 

“What’s the issue you’ve got, Kix?” Anakin asked. Kix paused next to him.

“Nothing major, sir. The shinies were a bit too rambunctious in the armory warehouse, knocked over a shelf of consumables. So now I’ve got half a squad to un-superglue from each other.” Anakin stifled a most un-Jedi-like burst of laughter.

“Have fun with that, Kix.” he said.

“Oh, I will, sir.” Kix said, rolling his eyes so hard they threatened to fall out of his skull. “One more thing...” he whispered something in Anakin’s ear that made Anakin break into the kind of smile that would have made Obi-Wan deeply concerned if he’d noticed it. As it was, he was too busy staring a hole in the bed’s unconscious occupant. Kix nodded briefly to Anakin, then left the room. Obi-Wan raised the hand not currently clutching Maul’s like a lifeline, and placed it on Maul’s head, brushing his temple gently. Anakin surreptitiously pulled a vidrecorder out of his pocket.

At the first sign of stirring, Obi-Wan leaned forward, breath catching.

“Darling, can you hear me?” he said. Maul’s head tipped to the side, and he frowned slightly as he slowly drifted back into the land of the living. 

“Sweetheart, wake up. Come on, love. That’s it.” Obi-Wan smiled weakly as Maul blinked his eyes open, squinting. “Hello, dearest,” Obi-Wan cradled Maul’s cheek, relief clear on his face. Behind him, Anakin was heroically struggling not to mercilessly taunt Obi-Wan for his ridiculousness. He’d never before heard his master run through his entire litany of pet names in twenty seconds flat; it was a sign of just how much he really had been freaking out. 

“Whaaaa...?” Maul said. His mental faculties were taking their sweet time rebooting. He turned his head, looking around him. His eyes caught on Obi-Wan and widened. “Oh, wow.” Maul’s face opened up in an expression that could only be called baffled wonderment. “You gotta be the prettiest guy I ever saw.” He reached up his free hand and poked a finger into Obi-Wan’s cheek, as if testing if he were real. There was a distinct _snnnrk_ from behind Obi-Wan as Anakin choked on his laughter. 

“Wow.” Maul repeated, finger still pressing into Obi-Wan’s face. Anakin managed to calm himself enough to choke out,

“A _little_ loopy?” Obi-Wan let out a relieved laugh himself. Maul gazed at him in open wonderment.

“Who’rrre you?” he said, slurring like a drunk. 

“Don’t you remember me?” Obi-Wan asked. Now that Maul was awake, he couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot.  
“You’rre prreetty.” Maul said. “Did the doctor send you?” His eyebrows knitted as he tried to solve the mystery. He turned his head to gaze towards the ceiling. “Damn, you’re pretty.” he muttered to himself. Anakin was quietly trying not to die in the background.

“Come on darling, let’s sit you up a bit.” Obi-Wan said. He reached for the controls on the bed and tilted it up until Maul was propped up enough to drink. “Here”. Obi-Wan took the cup that Kix had left and handed it to Maul. He had to take both of Maul’s hands and wrap them around the cup, which Maul was frowning at as if he couldn’t quite work out what it was for. 

“Drink this, love.” Obi-Wan said. Maul clumsily raised the cup to his lips. It took him three tries to get the straw into his mouth. He took a sip, then lowered the cup, sidetracked by staring at Obi-Wan, who hastily grabbed the cup to keep it from tipping over in Maul’s lap.

“Did the who... your.... a pretty...” Maul fumbled through what might have been a sentence. He took a deep breath and determinedly tried again. “Who’re you?” Obi-Wan chuckled.

“I’m your husband, dearest.” Maul’s jaw dropped open and his eyes widened comically.

“Whaaa....? Holy shit, you’re my husband?” he asked. He raised both hands to his own face, forcing Obi-Wan to grab the cup again. “Oh shiiiit, you _married_ me?”

“Yes, I married you.” Obi-Wan said, placing the cup back on the table and grinning ear to ear.

“Oh shit.” Maul said, dropping his head back onto his pillows. He stared at the ceiling as if trying to absorb the monumental impact of the revelation, occasionally sneaking glances at Obi-Wan. 

“Shit. Oh man. Oh man, I hit the _jackpot_.” Maul said in a tone of utter disbelief. Obi-Wan couldn’t help it; he burst out laughing. Behind him, Anakin was desperately trying to hold the vidrecorder steady while catching his breath.

“Gotta be the prettiest guy I ever saw.” Maul muttered. Obi-Wan tried to calm himself, wiping tears from his eyes. Maul looked at him again, struggling to focus on Obi-Wan.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Sure of what, sweetheart?” Obi-Wan replied. The question seemed to stump Maul, who stared at Obi-Wan for a few seconds before repeating quietly:

“You _married_ me?”

“Yes I did, love. Drink your juice.” Obi-Wan handed the cup back to Maul.

“Okay, babe. Do I call you babe?” Maul said.

“Sure you do. Drink up.” Obi-Wan told him. Maul nodded seriously, then focused on getting the straw into his mouth. Obi-Wan grinned to himself. Maul most certainly did not call him ‘babe’. He was ‘Kenobi’ in public, and sometimes ‘dumbass’ or ‘moron’, and ‘Ben’ when they were alone. Obi-Wan found that he had absolutely no objections to ‘babe’.

The door to the medbay hissed open, and Kix stuck his head in.

“General Skywalker commed me. Is he up?” Obi-Wan turned to make a reply, but Kix was already striding forward. “Good. How are you feeling there, sir?” He asked Maul, in his loud, slow, talking-to-drugged-up-patients-or-particularly-stubborn-Jedi voice. Maul removed the straw from his mouth.

“Hey,” he said, squinting up at Kix above him. “hey. Isn’t it- isn’t it...” his brows furrowed as he tried to rescue the sentence he’d started. “Isn’t he _pretty?_ ” he said, indicating Obi-Wan by putting his entire hand on his face.

“Yes, sir. Very pretty.” Kix said, straight faced. Anakin was still in the process of losing his shit. Obi-Wan gently removed Maul’s hand from his face, and placed it back on the bed.

“Answer the medic’s question, dear.”

“Yeah, baby, yeah. Ok. Whazzat?” Maul said.

“I asked, how are you feeling, sir?” Kix said patiently.

“I’m good. I’m real good.” Maul said, attempting to gesture and discovering the cup in his hand, which he squinted at suspiciously. “I’m going _great_ ,” he added, forgetting the cup, “because I’m _married_. And my husband is _smoking hot_. Did you know that?” he asked the medic.

“Yes, I was aware of that, sir.” Kix said. “I’m glad you’re doing well. Finish your juice, and I’ll be back to check in on you in an hour or so.” He turned to leave. Maul turned back to Obi-Wan.

“Don’t worry about him, babe. He’s not as pretty as you.” he said, in a very loud whisper, patting Obi-Wan roughly on the leg.

“Thank you, darling.” Obi-Wan said. “Drink you juice.” The cup made it halfway to Maul’s mouth before he was distracted again.

“I can’t believe you married me.” he said, in that utterly un-Maul-like tone of bewilderment. “How’d I ever land _you?_ ” 

“It was your charming personality and rugged good looks, sweetheart.” Obi-Wan said. Maul nodded.

“Makes sense.” he said sagely.

Anakin’s comm beeped.

“Master,” he said, after taking a moment to make sure he’d be able to talk without wheezing. “Rex and Ahsoka are outside. They want to know if they can see him yet.”

“Let them in, Anakin.” Obi-Wan said. Anakin crossed to the door and opened it. Ahsoka bounded inside, followed by Captain Rex, with his helmet under his arm. 

“Uncle Maul!” Ahsoka cried, rushing to the bed and flinging her arms around her favorite surrogate uncle. Maul only managed a quiet “what the fuck” before he was tackled by a pile of happy Togruta. Blinking in confusion, he returned the hug as much as he was able. Ahsoka was the only person in existence who could get away with hugging Maul in public, Obi-Wan included.

“Come on, Snips, give him some space.” Anakin said, smirking. She released Maul, grinning wide enough to show off her pointed canines.

“I’m so glad you’re alright!” she said. Maul reached up slowly and deliberately and put one of his hands on top of her head, either as a sign of affection or to keep her away. Perhaps both. He turned his head and and found Obi-Wan’s gaze, an earnest expression on his face.

“Who’s the pointy one, and why is she attacking me, baby?” he asked. Anakin had strategically positioned himself to catch the look on Ahsoka’s face, and was grateful he had. Captain Rex’s face remained, impressively, professional.

“This is Ahsoka, dear one. You like her.” Obi-Wan said.

“Oh.” Maul frowned at Ahsoka. “She’s.... pointy.” 

“Sorry I didn’t warn you,” Obi-Wan said to Ahsoka. “The medication Kix has got him on is.... er, affecting him strongly.”

“I can see that, Master.” Ahsoka said.

“Who’ssa.... guy.” Maul mumbled. Obi-Wan realized he was talking about Rex, who stood impassively behind Ahsoka. 

“That’s Captain Rex. You like him too.”

“Oh ok. Capping... rick. Cax. Capper... fax. Cat... get a shorter name, moron.”

“I tried to, sir, but they didn’t have any shorter ones available.” Rex said, with absolutely no trace of a smile on his face. Anakin privately thought that Rex would have made a good Jedi.

“Don’t insult the good captain, sweetheart. And drink your juice.”

“Ok. Sorry, Rick.” Maul said, raising the cup to his lips again. “It’s just, you’re not as pretty as he is.”

“Understood, sir. I’m not as pretty as General Kenobi, sir. Got it.” Rex could teach a stone how to keep a straight face. Ahsoka could use the lessons.

“Hey, Snips.” Anakin said. “Ask him about his husband.” She didn’t have to. Maul’s face lit up and he dropped the cup (hastily snatched from the air by Obi-Wan), surging forward to grab Ahsoka’s arm.

“He!” Maul said.

“Yes, he?” Ahsoka grinned.

“He.” Maul seemed too excited to form words properly. “He’s... really nice.”

“I’m glad he’s nice, Uncle Maul.” Ahsoka said.

“Yeah,” Maul said, sinking back into his pillows. “Yeah, he’s real pretty.” He took the cup that Obi-Wan once again handed him, and added: “I love him a lot. He should be a model or something.” Maul then turned his focus to sip determinedly at his juice. After a minute or so, during which Anakin tried and absolutely failed to regain his composure, Maul seemed to reach some sort of conclusion, and reached to place the cup on the bedside table. He missed by about a foot, and Obi-Wan rescued the cup yet again.

“Howss it- howzzzit-” Maul said. He reached up and grabbed Obi-Wan’s face with both of his hands, dragging his head down to his own eye-level. “ _How are you so pretty?_ ” he asked, as if it were the most important question in the universe. Obi-Wan reached up and gently extracted his face from Maul’s grasp, replacing it with the cup.

“Drink sweetheart.”

“Oh, yeah. Love you, baby.” Maul said, once again refocused on the task. 

“I love you, too, darling.” Obi-Wan said. Ahsoka had a hand over her mouth and was clutching her sides, trying to reign in gales of laughter. Rex’s lips hadn’t so much as twitched. Anakin was beyond saving.

Several blessedly silent minutes later, Maul was sucking on an empty cup, which Obi-Wan smoothly took from him. Maul wrapped his hands around one of Obi-Wan’s instead.

“Hey baby,” he said, as Obi-Wan placed the cup on the table and turned back to him.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I’ve gotta question.”

“I’m listening.”

“Where’ssa... where...” Maul frowned. “Hold on, baby, lemme... I love you. Got it. Legs.” He smiled proudly up at Obi-Wan. Anakin snorted, and Ahsoka shushed him, trying not to laugh out loud herself.

“Legs, dear?” Obi-Wan said.

“Yeah. My legs. I can’t feel my legs. What happened to my legs, baby?” Maul said, gazing up at Obi-Wan with wide, trusting eyes. Those eyes, and the fact that Maul had just said “I love you” more times in the past ten minutes than he’d said in the course of their entire relationship, just about broke Obi-Wan’s heart.

“Oh, sweetheart. Sweetheart. I’m sorry, I...” Obi-Wan struggled for words.

“Baby,” Maul said slowly. “Where are my legs.” Obi-Wan took a deep breath.

“Darling,” he started. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and took another breath. “Darling, you lost them years ago. I’m afraid I cut them off. That’s how we met.” He tightened his grip on his husband’s hand, and steeled himself to look the love of his life in the eyes. Maul, for his part, lagged a few seconds. When he processed Obi-Wan’s words, his face broke into an expression of deep concern.

“Aww, baby, no, don’t cry.” he said. “Don’t cry. It’s ok. I didn’t need ‘em anyways.” Obi-Wan couldn’t help it; a tear slid down his cheek. “Don’t worry, baby. Don’t worry.” Maul said, reaching out a hand to clumsily pat Obi-Wan on the cheek. “I’d give fifty legs to getta meet you.” Obi-Wan laughed wetly, putting a hand over Maul’s.

“I’m sorry, love.” he apologized. “I’ve just been so worried about you.”

“Thass’ ok, baby. That’s ok.” Maul reassured. “I love you.”

Rex silently passed Obi-Wan a tissue.

“Wait, babe.” Maul said, suddenly serious. “Did i have fifty legs? Am I some sort of...” his eyes widened. “half-centipede alien?” 

“Snips, I’m gonna need you to take over here,” Anakin said. Ahsoka smoothly took the vidrecorder from him, and Anakin slid down the wall, clutching his sides, and proceeded to die as quietly as possible in the corner.

“What you are is my husband, and I love you.” Obi-Wan said.

“Ok, babe. Ok.” Maul said. Then to Ahsoka, and with absolutely no subtlety: “What kinda weirdo marries a centipede?” He shook his head. “He’s lucky he’s pretty.” 

There was a quiet knock on the door, and Commander Cody entered.

“Kix said he’s awake.” he said. “How’s he doing?” 

“Well, he’s just come to the conclusion that he’s a centipede and his husband’s a moron, so, you know. He’s good.” Anakin said from his corner.

“He’s still under the effects of the anaesthesia, but the surgery went fine.” Obi-Wan translated.

“Glad to hear it, sir.” Cody said. He turned to Maul and gave him a smile and a salute.

“It’ll be good to have you back on your feet, sir.” Maul frowned.

“Yeah, feet. I got a lot of those....” Maul tugged at Obi-Wan’s hand and turned his head to whisper to his husband in a voice that everyone could hear. “Babe. Baby. There’s another one.”

“Yes, darling, you know Commander Cody.” Obi-Wan said.

“Ok, I just...” Maul frowned as he attempted to dart his eyes around the room to keep track of everyone. “That’s a lot of people.” he muttered. Obi-Wan recognized the look on Maul’s face. Maul wasn’t good at handling crowded rooms at the best of times, and even when he was high as a kite, Obi-Wan still saw the signs of anxiety. He squeezed Maul’s hand.

“I think we should let Maul get some rest now.” he told the room. “Let’s give him some space. You can all come back and visit later when he’s less out of it.”

“Yes, Master.” Ahsoka said, passing the vidrecorder back to Anakin and leaving the room behind Cody.  
Rex saluted smartly, and followed Ahsoka out of the room, never cracking even the hint of a smile. The door slid shut behind them. There was a beat, and then Anakin heard muffled sounds that were either Captain Rex dying violently, or absolutely losing his shit.

“You, too, Anakin.” Obi-Wan said. “And please don’t distribute that video. Maul might legitimately kill you once he’s lucid.”

“Don’t worry, Master.” Anakin lied, standing to leave.

“Hey, baby?” Maul said. “You can stay, you know. You’re pretty enough for... for a lot of legs.”

“Of course I’m staying, love.” Obi-Wan said. He brushed a hand over Maul’s head and bent to kiss his brow. “Get some rest, now.”

“Good.” Maul murmured, closing his eyes. “I gotta be the luckiest guy ever. And it didn’t even cost me an arm,” he said. “just the legs.”

“I am _so glad_ Kix told me to film this.” said Anakin, from the doorway.

_________

“I am going to _kill him_.”

“Not until you’re fully healed, you’re not.” Obi-Wan pushed a scowling Maul back onto the bed in his quarters. Maul had been released from the medbay earlier that day, and had discovered the video making the rounds of the 212th and 501st shortly afterwards. Thankfully, he hadn’t watched the whole thing yet.

“It isn’t that bad, dear.” Obi-Wan reassured him. Maul scowled. He could always tell when Obi-Wan was lying.

“ _Not that bad?_ ” he hissed, eyes narrowed.

“It really wasn’t.” Obi-Wan insisted. “For instance, you told me you loved me.”

“I did?” Maul said.

“You did. Four separate times.” Obi-Wan sat down on the edge of the bed, and grinned at his husband. Maul frowned.

“Of course I said that.” He pushed himself up to sit next to Obi-Wan. Maul put his hand on the bed between them, just brushing Obi-Wan’s. “I know I don’t say it enough,” he spoke quietly, his voice low, staring at his own lap. “But I do love you, Ben.” Obi-Wan took Maul’s hand in both of his own, raising it to his lips.

“I know you love me. You don’t have to tell me for me to know that.” he said. “I love you, too, Maul. With all my heart.”

“Yeah.” Maul’s lips quirked in a small smile, still looking down at his knees. “I know.”

“And,” Obi-Wan said, pressing a kiss to Maul’s cheek, “You called me ‘baby’.” That startled Maul enough to jerk his head up and stare flatly at Obi-Wan.

“I did _not_.”

“Yes you did.” Obi-Wan grinned. “Many, many times.” Maul’s face was warring between disbelief and embarrassment. 

“I didn’t-” 

Obi-Wan interrupted him with a kiss.

“I liked it.” Obi-Wan took advantage of Maul’s distraction to push him back down onto the bed.

“Now _rest_. Anakin will still be there for you to kill in the morning.” 

“Ok, fine.” Maul said. He couldn’t stop the slight smile that he gave Obi-Wan. “So long as you stay with me. Baby.”

Obi-Wan kissed him again, lingering.

"I'm staying." He lay down next to Maul and arranged the blankets over them both. Maul shifted closer, nuzzling into Obi-Wan's shoulder. Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around Maul, and held his husband as he drifted off in his arms.

The next day, Anakin sent them a message from three systems away, saying that he and his padawan had decided to take an emergency mission, and they wouldn’t be back for at least a month. At least Obi-Wan hadn’t raised a total idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya know, I guess Ahsoka must really like Maul, and he must really care about her, too. Mostly I just had the impulsive idea to have her call him "Uncle Maul" and I just rolled with it because it's 4am and I have no more fucks to give. Cute as fuck though, amiright??
> 
> I'm thinking that Ahsoka must have started following Maul around when he first came on the ship, asking tons of questions and being annoyingly bubbly. Maul initially hated her guts, but she slowly grew on him and he started teaching her some combat skills so she wouldn't get herself killed on the battlefield. She probably reminds him of himself in a painful way, in that she's a child forced into violent situations that she didn't exactly volunteer for, and that she doesn't think of as wrong. That's probably his initial motivation for Keeping her Safe at Any Cost. He probably about damn near had a heart attack the first time she called him "Uncle Maul".
> 
> Rex and Cody and the rest of the clones probably like Maul a lot more than they let on. They probably spent ages suffering Obi-Wan and Maul pining over each other before they got together. And now I wanna write a chapter all about Cody and Rex playing matchmaker for the sake of their sanities.
> 
> Anyway, kudos and comments are much appreciated, and motivate my Shit Brain. If you have any prompts or ideas, leave them in the comments! Doesn't have to be this universe, I'll write other AU's, too. Let me know if you see any typos, they are the bane of my existence.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed! Feel free to comment with prompts or ideas for snippets, too.
> 
> I'm on tumblr @quousque, feel free to drop me a line to say hi, give me prompts, or just screech about star wars with me.


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